Life....Oh Life.....

Im pretty sure everyboy has seen the film with Elisha Cuthbert in as the sexy arsed Girl Next Door....Well i fell like im in that movie. Im head over heels for the girl next door. She is absolutely gorgeous, the seewtest most delightful person i have had the good fortune to meet, but more than that she makes me laugh! Might sound pretty sad to most, but if a gilr makes me laugh i love it, it really is one thing i look for in the people i fall for.

Anyways, onto the juicy part of the story........I FUCKED UP BIG TIME!!!! (sorry for my language but i really did mess up on a colossal scale. She has gone away today, and its her birthday while she is away. Now me, big bloody macho man i am.....thought id be big and not show my feelings, didnt buy her a Birthday card, of which she seemed to make a big deal of. Everybody i know kept telling me to buy her one.....but i didnt.....and dont woory ill say it before you do.....WHAT AN IDIOT!!! Ive never let my feelings be known to her, partly because i do not want to be left devasdated and turned down.....but he who dares wins i reckon.......Hopefully, ill be able to recover from my massive mistake.

I decided last week to kick the booze....give it up for good, stop being like my dad and live without it. It lasted for an entire 12 hours before i was completely sozzled! God damn the amber nectar! Telling my best mate how fit his Mum is and how i was going to be his new Step Dad! That went down like a house on fire!

So im trying again, so far ive been sober for 3 days......and 3 bloody long days it has been. Thankfully, drinking has never affected my work, ive never had a day off sick due to a hangover but i just know i really need to leave the binging sessions alone if i want to get anywhere or do anything! Nobody likes the fat alchy stood proping the bar up!

What better time to write my first post than after 4 beers! Not so inebriated it makes no sense, but enough to remove all inhibitions! This bad boy is going to be all about me and my trials and tribulations........rather than keep a diary nobody will ever see i want to share my sorry existence of a life with the world.

Its not a sorry existence in the fact that im a druggy, or a doley, just that my life doesnt quite ever feel fulfilled lately. Anyways, ive got 4 aims in life at the moment:

1) Lose Weight
2) Stop being an ALCOHOLIC (there i admitted it!)
3) Make the girl next door love me
4) Subject the world to my views on the world!

The first 3 aint going to well, and a tiny little piece of my mind reckons there all interlinked. Im overweight because i drink. The girl next door dont love me because im overweight, and i drink because ive got no one to love me (sympathetic 'awwwwww' now please =) ) As for the final point, you should all expect more from me on that one! Ill voice my opinions, however wrong they may be on various subjects i read and they may be controverial, but there my thoughts, my feelings and i have a right to voice them!

Anyways thats me....BeeZee signing off until tomorrow probably! Cath the whole wide world later!